Are you afraid of being alone?
Do you avoid spending time by yourself, because you get too restless, nervous or frustrated with your own company?
Just like you can’t overcome the fear of not being good enough by either procrastinating or striving for approval from others, you can’t overcome the fear of being alone by either avoiding yourself or becoming dependent on others.
The fear of being alone can hit you whether you are single or in a relationship. You may be afraid when your spouse is leaving for a business trip, because you don’t feel equipped to deal with emergency situations or unforeseeable problems.
Maybe you can’t imagine getting married and moving away from your family and old friends, because you need their comfort and guidance.
Whatever the reason, one of the most common hallmarks of the fear of being alone is that you don’t like spending time on your own. Being alone makes you feel nervous, anxious and uncomfortable; your mind seems to spin into negativity and ‘what if thinking’, which is why you turn on the TV or call someone just to distract yourself from yourself.
To avoid being alone you may become a serial dater, and once you find somebody, cling onto the relationship, even if it is not necessarily fulfilling or supportive. You control your partner with anger and blame, or you accept intolerable or even abusive behavior just to not be single again.
Good or bad having someone there is better to you than being alone.
Although you realize that being in a loveless relationship can make you feel even more alone than if you would be by yourself, the presence of a warm body still appears more reassuring than having to deal with life on your own.
What causes this fear isn’t the lack of relationships with others – but the absence of a relationship with yourself.
But how do you stop feeling uncomfortable with yourself and learn to know, appreciate and trust yourself more?
…is it possible to eventually become your own best friend?
Join me on this week’s episode of “Get Real” on THURSDAY DEC 9th | 9AM PT/12PM ET where I share my tips for healing the fear of being alone at its subconscious roots, so that you are able to enjoy and appreciate the one person you will spend every day with for the rest of your life with.