How to become the leader of your life
Do you often feel more like a follower than a leader? Do you feel disempowered by what’s going on in politics, COVID, the economy—and the state of the environment? A follower when it comes to adapting to the newest trends, buying things that you don’t even need, working on the body that you are told you should have? And, do you feel like a powerless follower when it comes to your goals in life? The “shoulds” of having to keep a job with benefits, even though it is sucking the light out of your soul; to start a family, because you are already 30 years old; to get a mortgage, or to work more than you have the energy for...just to make sure that your retirement fund gets filled?
Imagine how freeing and empowering it would feel to become the leader of your life, to live every day with purpose, joy, and authenticity. Doesn’t that sound great? So, how can you get there?
Let’s look at the traits of a good leader. In general, these are: being empowering and empathetic, communicating well, and being willing to gain the trust of others. Hand on your heart: when it comes to your relationship with yourself, do you find yourself empowering, empathetic, a good inner communicator—and somebody you trust? Maybe not quite, right? Being the leader of your life means that you are in charge of your thoughts, emotions, and actions, and by doing so you become the creator of your reality. I know—easier said than done.
Here are 4 skills that I find essential to take on the leadership of our life:
- Dynamic Awareness: Someone once said to me that to succeed in life, we need to be vigilant. Dynamic Awareness is the vigilance of observing ourselves and how we go about our day-to-day. It is about observing, in a non-judgemental way, how certain patterns in our lives are more self-limiting or self-destructive than self-empowering. For example, you may notice that you tend to focus more on the negative things in your life rather than acknowledging what is right. Or maybe you get easily overwhelmed when you are facing changes or are confronted with unforeseeable circumstances. Or you may expect the past to repeat itself, rather than being open to making a positive difference in the future. Dynamic Awareness is the first step to becoming the leader of your life. It allows you to get out of the numbness of life on auto-pilot and take responsibility for your inner and outer world.
- Empathetic Inner Communication: Our thoughts are the most powerful filters of reality. Like the background music in a movie, our internal narrative and commentary can make a harmless comment by a colleague appear to be a devastating judgment; a friendly dinner with the in-laws appear like the last supper; and an unreturned call seem like the proof that nobody cares about us. How we talk to ourselves usually determines the energy and attitude we bring to our daily lives.
Inner communication isn’t just about talking to ourselves, but also about listening to that inner voice that we usually try to ignore. The voice of worry, insecurity, anxiety, and ‘what if’s’, that bubbles up from the depth of our subconscious. Empathetic inner communication is about paying attention and kindly responding to the part of us that just needs some guidance and reassurance.
Tune in to the next episode of Empowerment Radio and learn more about these and the remaining two skill – Reframing and Self-Trust, so that you will be able to more easily take ownership of your life.