Are you struggling with the “year-end-hangover?” I am not talking about the physical discomfort induced by excessive amounts of food and alcohol. What I mean are all the unfulfilled intentions, resolutions and goals of last year that keep on hanging over your head. Whether you intended to get in shape, to overcome anxiety, or to stop self-sabotaging habits, the question is, how can you be more successful in these endeavors this year?
According to the Meyer’s Briggs Test, I am an ENFJ, a personality type which is often associated with teachers, speakers and coaches. One of the gifts of ENFJ’s is their staunch belief in the unlimited potential of the mind to adapt, change and grow. For the last 15 years, I had the privilege to guide, support and witness clients from all over the world commit to their goals, break through obstacles that used to hold them back, and finally achieve the success they had been looking for. I saw, countless times, that we are all capable of more than we may have believed – or may have been made believe. Yet, I also found that the most efficient way to create profound change and growth is to go about it in a systematic and consistent way.
Here are some of the major keys that make it easier for you to break through to the success you have been longing for:
- Get a map: Have you ever become lost on a hike or while visiting a new city? If so, you can probably appreciate how useful a map is. A map shows you how you became lost and how you can get yourself back on track. Old patterns and limiting beliefs can appear like an unfriendly maze from where you are unable to find your way out. This is why it is essential to spend some time honestly assessing not only where you are and where you want to be, but also why you haven’t been able to get the results you have been aiming for. Taking responsibility for your shortcomings and self-limiting patterns with the intention to learn from them, rather than getting deflated by them, is the first crucial step to change. To quote the great Thich Nhat Hanh: “Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed.”
- Think outside the comfort zone: Evolution is based on the principle of “the survival of the fittest,” meaning the survival of those who can adapt to the demands of an ever-changing environment. This principle could just as well be called, “the survival of the most flexible.” Flexibility is one of our mind’s most powerful qualities that we all make use of from the earliest stages of our development. Thus, it makes sense that the lack of flexibility is one the most common reason why people stay stuck. For example, as soon as you think about how anxiety “tormented” you in the past, you feel powerless, disheartened and unmotivated to search for a solution. Or, whenever you are about to take a risk and put yourself out there, you immediately feel held back by the thought that you’re not good enough and that failure is inevitable.
Learning how to think and be more flexible allows you to move more quickly through feelings that are not supportive, and empowers you to consciously see and take advantage of the opportunities in every situation. You can find answers in problems, understanding in confusion, and possibilities in limitations. Thus, flexibility is crucial not only to survival, but also to ultimately thriving and experiencing happiness.
- Get off the fence: On your journey from stuckness to empowerment, awareness provides the map of your inner territory. Flexibility allows you to analyze your position from various angles and points of view and identify alternative routes. However, increased awareness and flexibility are not enough to gain the momentum to move forward. You can stare at a map for a long time and examine all the different options and possibilities, but you don’t get anywhere unless you choose your destination―and which route you want to take to reach it. Only the act of choosing enables you to be truly free and self-empowered. Making a choice can be one of the greatest yet most difficult steps to take. It is a great step because the moment you consciously choose, you’re moving from the passenger’s seat to the driver’s seat, from the effect side of the equation to the cause side. You’re reclaiming your right to create your own reality.
Making a choice can be difficult because it often leads to change, and as you know, change can be scary. What if you make the wrong choice? What if you don’t have what it takes to change? Every choice is also a statement about who you are and makes you take responsibility for your actions and their outcome. You can no longer blame others. Although making a choice appears like a big step, the truth is, you always choose. Even when you’re remaining stuck, continuing as a passenger in your life, you’re making a choice, although it may appear to you that you’re powerless.
If you are ready to make 2019 the year of quantum change, growth and success, join me on Empowerment Radio this Wednesday January 2nd at 11AM PT / 2PM ET for the first of a 2 part show, and learn more keys to breaking through the blocks and obstacles the prevented you from having the results you have dreamed of.
Wishing you and your loved ones peace, love, health and happiness for 2019.