Trust is a natural ability, which we are all born with. Maybe we learn to trust in the warm and soft environment of our mothers’ wombs, where we can feel completely sheltered, held and nourished. The shock of entering into the “real” world is probably buffered by the belief that we will continue to be looked after. At first our trust in ourselves grows tremendously, as ever little step we take and every word we utter is met with great applause from our parents. However, since we still remain rather powerless and dependent, our mind, especially our subconscious, soaks up all information from the outside that appears relevant to our sense of safety and comfort. Negative messages, criticism or disappointments infiltrate our subconscious and affect us deeply. It doesn’t take major trauma for us to doubt and wonder whether we can really trust to be safe, loved, or good enough.
For many people, who have encountered betrayal, let down, failure and hurt trust is just another word for foolish naïveté. The problem is that not trusting can lead to a vicious cycle, causing us to believe that hyper-vigilance, micromanaging, and even obsessive behaviors are the only way to maintain some sense of power and control when, in actuality, it is fear and anxiety that control our lives. In other words, we are living in continuous survival mode. In order to overcome our fears and switch into thriving mode, we need to build a strong foundation of trust, which ideally rests on three tiers: Trust in ourselves, trust in others and trust in life or a higher power. But how can we establish such a foundation despite the disappointments and hurt of the past?
Listen to my interview on empowerment radio and learn the keys on how to build to trust – and let go of fear and control.