Are you struggling with self-confidence? If the answer is yes, you are not alone in what can often feel like a journey of isolation.
Having self-confidence is the belief in our intrinsic worthiness and the trust in ourselves and our abilities to do the things we want to do. Yet, when we lack confidence, we tend to put much of our focus on doing the opposite. For example we undermine ourselves with negative self-talk, put ourselves down with name-calling, compare ourselves to those around us as if they are somehow better, and take what others believe and say about us to be the truth of who we are.
A lack of confidence can be one of the most challenging obstacles in life and often prevents us from having success, love, joy, and fulfillment. Insecurity is often rooted in self-limiting beliefs such as "I am not good enough" or "I can't have what I want", that are programmed into our subconscious minds during a very young age.
No matter how ambitious we are and how much potential we have, as long as we hold on to self-limiting beliefs, we are held back by feeling "less than" or "undeserving." It is in letting go of these non-supportive core beliefs and replacing them with new, self-empowering beliefs where we find healing and empowerment.
With healthy self-esteem, we don't shy away from challenges, we are committed to what we want and believe in and we have no qualms acknowledging our limitations
Like a muscle that needs to be trained to get stronger or a bank account that needs to be filled to pay out dividends, boosting our self-esteem takes time, commitment and consistency.
Here are 5 simple ways to increase your confidence:
1 Take inventory - What good things have you accomplished in your life? In becoming aware of our contributions to the world around us we begin to understand the importance our very existence holds. This works to increase how we see ourselves and the contributions we make as valuable.
2 Ask others - How is it that the people in your life view you? What are the areas that they appreciate most about you? Sometimes seeing ourselves through the lens of those that care about and love us helps us to understand how much it is we have to offer the world.
3 Acknowledge - One of the most common reasons why people suffer from low self-esteem is, that even though they show up every day, giving their best to all the different aspects of their lives, they don't appreciate who they are and what they have done. You don't have to find the cure for cancer or end world hunger to be able to acknowledge that your daily contributions matter.
4 Stop undermining your confidence - Negative self-talk, looking only at things you didn't do well in, comparing yourself with others - and making assumptions on how they view you only adds to your confidence breakdown. No one can feel good about themselves if they only focus on the bad. The reality is that none of us are perfect at this life. We all have moments of weakness and breakdown. The question is, do we stay down when life kicks us? Or do we get back up and try again?
5 Realize lack of confidence - This is also a protective mechanism of our subconscious mind which likes to play small and be less visible; so as not to disappoint if there is failure. Instead I say go for it.
We can't grow while staying in our comfort zone - and we can't gain confidence without taking the risk to fail. Even then; failure is not the end of the story; it's just feedback - and an opportunity to learn from and try again.
Having faith in ourselves starts with us.
Affirm: Confidence building starts with reminding yourself every morning that no matter what you were told or how you were treated, you are a unique individual, with inherent goodness and the abilities and talents to create a life of meaning, joy and fulfillment. One of the most powerful affirmations to remind yourself of this fundamental truth is: "I love, appreciate and believe in myself. I am enough."
Avoid: At least 50% of boosting your confidence is preventing yourself from eroding it. Notice when you are poking holes in your self-esteem by comparing yourself to others, trying to get approval from those around you and giving more weight to others' opinions of you more than your own. Each time you avoid this way of thinking, you refrain from unconsciously giving your power to other people. Instead you can reclaim the right to be your own judge and authority.
Acknowledge: One of the most common reasons people suffer from low self-esteem is that even though they show up every day, giving their best to all the different aspects of their lives, they don't appreciate who they are and what they have done. You don't have to find the cure for cancer or end world hunger to be able to acknowledge that your daily contributions matter. Even the small wins should be acknowledged and celebrated.
Are you ready to stop tearing yourself down and start boosting your self-esteem? Then join me on this week's Empowerment Radio and learn more daily practices to enhance the belief in and appreciation of yourself.