Growing up in an emotional family, I learned quickly to believe that emotions only cause commotion. The frequent anger outbursts of those around me felt as scary and overwhelming as the ever present anxiety and present. Being rather sensitive to my surroundings I took on the role of the “emotional diffuser” or “peacemaker,” which, my parents had already in mind for me, when they gave me my name Friedemann, which means “Man of peace.” My mission was to avoid or diffuse emotions and come up with a plan to reinstate peace and harmony in the family.
Like me, you may have experienced your own emotions or those of others, as random, overwhelming, even paralyzing and utterly uncontrollable. Maybe you’ve felt stuck in anger or anxiety, discouraged, or frustrated with yourself, because, unlike you, all the people around you seem to have it together. Wouldn’t your life be much better if you could run it by logic and reason? And wouldn’t it be best if you could just turn your emotions off?
Generally speaking, our modern society has little room and patience for feelings. Reason and logic are far more accepted and valued than sensitivity and emotions. However, we need emotions for guidance and to bring meaning to our lives. They provide us with important information about our likes and dislikes, our strengths and weaknesses, and the value of our actions and choices. Every day, emotions have a significantly larger impact than facts and reasoning on the choices we make and how we experience our world. Isn’t it true that the moments we remember and cherish the most are those we associate with the strongest feelings?
In this 5 part interview series I will address the emotional archetypes of anger, sadness, guilt, shame and anxiety – and introduce the keys to utilize these powerful energies for your healing and personal growth.
You can listen to part 1 here, which will shed light on the “up and down-side of anger.”