Have you ever wondered why, for some people, success seems to come easier than for others? Do they have more talent, drive, capabilities, or just lucky socks? After having supported countless of my clients on their journey to emotional freedom and self-empowerment, I know that we all have the potential to go beyond any perceived limitations and create the results we truly want. Yet, I also found that there are certain attributes that allow us to reach any goal, even those we thought would be impossible for us to achieve. The C-crets to success are clarity, congruency, commitment and credit.
Knowing what you want is, of course, the first step to getting it. Yet, this is not the clarity I am talking about here. As we all know, the greatest ideas and best intentions often remain a wishful fantasy because we don’t take action – or even if we do, somewhere and somehow our efforts peter out. This is where clarity on they “why” you want to reach your goals becomes critical. The stronger the reasons why you want to pursue a goal, the greater the likelihood for you to reach it.
How many mothers or fathers do you know who’ve forgotten what it means to relax and let themselves be taken care of, because during the few moments they’re not changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, driving to soccer practice, and maybe working at another job, they’re thinking about what else needs to be done? How many small business owners do you know who sacrifice all their time and energy to keep their enterprise going? Or what about die-hard marathon runners who repeatedly go through the pain and agony of grueling, long distance races? How many of those people actually gave up their kids, their businesses, or their runs?
None of them, right? Or at least they didn’t without extenuating circumstances. But while they pursued their missions and objectives, there were also those moments when they had to dig inside and somehow find additional energy and resources to get over obstacles and keep themselves forging forward. And just when the greatest push and effort was required, just when they were digging the deepest, a little voice inside asked, “Why am I doing this?” Their answers could be, “Because I want my kids to be happy and healthy,” “Because I want my business to succeed,” or “Because I love to run, love to finish.” I’m sure you had similar experiences yourself. The strength and resilience of the human spirit is astonishing. And it’s the whys behind what we do that allow us to tap into that strength.
The following three questions can give you greater clarity on your “whys” and thus the motivation you need to keep on moving forward:
- Why will reaching my goals positively affect my life and benefit those I care about?
- Why is staying in my comfort zone no longer acceptable for me?
- Why will I not give up on my goals, even if the journey to success may turn out to be longer and harder than I am hoping for?
Congruency is defined in the dictionary as “the state of various parts coming together through a shared agreement.” Yet, you may have noticed that whenever you want to make a difference in your life, you are anything but congruent, because a part of you seems to be resistant to the idea of change. Maybe you’re concerned that people will no longer like you after you’ve been successful, or you doubt that you really deserve a better life. Or, maybe you’re telling yourself impatiently, “This is too hard,” and let the momentary lack of trust and drive break your momentum. These are just some of the usual suspects which, if you don’t have strong enough reasons to maintain your goals, might tempt you to give up and retreat to the old comfort zone.
Whenever you are about to pursue a dream or are about to make a big change, be completely honest with yourself, and contemplate the possibility that a part of you prefers the stagnant place you’re in because it’s a comfort zone. Consider the following questions:
- What am I afraid of losing when I reach my goals?
- Does the possibility of failure appear more threatening and unpleasant than staying stuck in the place I am in right now?
- Does staying stuck appear to be safer than changing because I won’t be judged, criticized, or disappointed?
- Do I get more attention and support from others by staying where I am?
- Am I afraid that there will be nothing left of me, if I let go of my old limitations?
These questions are extremely important because they will help you to identify possible secondary “benefits” for staying the same, which could end up leading you to self-sabotage your efforts to change and grow. Just by shedding light on these hidden agendas, some of them will lose their power and start to disappear.
To learn more on how to address the more stubborn secondary “benefits” and the other C-crets to success – Commitment and Credit– watch my episode of Empowerment Radio below, or download the audio to listen at your leisure.
Announcement: As of March 2019, my radio show time will change to Thursdays at 9AM PT / Noon ET. I hope this new prime time spot will allow my show to be more accessible to many of you, and give you the availability to call or message into the show, or tune in on Facebook Live. Of course, you can find all my previous episodes on my radio show page or YouTube.