Uncover Your Limiting Beliefs and Take Back Control of Your Reality | GR116

Some beliefs give us wings, unleash our creative genius and help us to dig deep when the going gets tough. Others can be the prison walls of our mind, which keep us locked in our imagined limitations. Depending on our early imprints, our core beliefs may place a stronger emphasis on safety or happiness.

So how do you erase and replace limiting beliefs that hold you back from growing and expanding into a more confident and empowered version of yourself?

Dr Friedemann’s Takeaways:

Intro (00:00)

What Are You Doing With Your Belief? (4:37)

I Am Not Good Enough (9:18)

Bring In Your New Self (17:29)

Subconscious Takes Over (22:53)

Meet Dr Friedemann

WATCH THE EPISODE: https://youtu.be/uC8Kpj4LX6Y

Learn more at: https://DrFriedemann.com

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LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drfriedemannschaub/

Friedemann Schaub, MD, PhD, is the award-winning author of The Fear + Anxiety Solution. Dr. Schaub has helped thousands of people with his Personal Breakthrough and Empowerment program to overcome their fear and anxiety by addressing the deeper, subconscious root causes of these emotional challenges.

Are you looking for more from Dr Friedemann? Check out his “Your Accelerated Breakthrough Program” https://drfriedemann.com/breakthrough-program/.

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Transcript
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Do you know what holds you back in life? Why you don't

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really have what you want, or why you're still struggling with

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anxiety and maybe feel in general stuck? Well, the reason

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is not your circumstances you're in, or the people you're dealing

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with, or your bad luck. The reason is that you're held back

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by your beliefs, and especially your limiting core beliefs. Now,

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beliefs in general, are a topic that I think is incredibly

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important, but we usually don't talk about, and we usually don't

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get taught what to do with beliefs. But beliefs are

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ultimately the way the subconscious mind is defining

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your personal universe. When you think about, you know how you

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grew up, let's say you had some bad experiences, you know, you

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sang in front of the class, and everyone was laughing, you had a

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parent who always told you, well, you're not smart enough,

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or you do things wrong. And maybe you had some friends that

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all sudden ditched you and felt like, well, there are some other

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people that are more interesting. Well, probably at

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some point, you didn't feel very comfortable and very safe. And

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that's a moment when the subconscious says, Oh, hold on

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here, we have to do something. And that means we have to make

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sense out of this so that you are not getting hurt. And this

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is when beliefs start, they kind of gave the subconscious a

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playbook on, what's the best way to navigate through this life,

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and heart. And a limiting belief such as I am not good enough,

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can come from those experiences. Now, a belief is like a really

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huge filter, it's massive, because it really keeps out a

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lot of the information. And lets in only the information that

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makes sense to the belief Tobio Imagine yourself like, you know,

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walking through life like this, you know, left and right, don't

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see it, all you see is this little tunnel vision of the

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things that your subconscious is highlighting. And when you don't

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feel good enough, you probably have been highlighting every

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fault. Everything that go went wrong, every person that has

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rejected you throughout the years, because that fits in to

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the belief that I personally have believed I'm not good

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enough. So I know how one day I had to give a speech. And

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afterwards, there was some evaluation and I got, you know,

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28 good ones. And one was critical. While naturally I was

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focusing only on the one that was critical. All the other ones

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I completely ignored, didn't matter didn't really fit into my

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system. So when you have a limiting belief, you usually

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live under its guardianship, and you don't even know it, you just

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have a distorted way of seeing the world and yourself. And for

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anxiety, for example, the beliefs that keep us anxious are

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the beliefs like I'm not good enough, or I'm not safe, I

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cannot trust anyone, or I'm not lovable, I don't fit in. In my

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practice, I find that these are the most common beliefs that

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keep the anxiety fueled, because all we can see is there's just

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more danger to get rejected or get ridiculed or harmed out

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there. And so we either go into avoidance mode and try to stay

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invisible, or we go into pleasing mode and try to get

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approval from others.

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So what are you gonna do with a belief? I mean, obviously, since

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they come from way back, wouldn't it be nice if we could

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just take a time machine, erase the past, and all would be good.

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But there is actually something like a time machine. It's called

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timeline therapy or pattern resolution process. And these

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are things I'm working with and they do allow you on a

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subconscious level, to literally go back and see your past from a

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different perspective, resolve some of those old questions and

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confusions that your subconscious has held on to and

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literally rewrite history. The problem is, that doesn't

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necessarily change your beliefs. Because if you have even though,

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I mean, maybe you have done some work, maybe you have done a lot

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of comedy counseling, and you really felt like I talked about

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the past, and I work through it. And I feel like I don't have any

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longer nightmares of what happened there. But you still

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have that belief, you still don't feel safe, or you still

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don't feel good enough. So you will still act accordingly. And

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you will still see the world accordingly. And as it is, with

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limiting beliefs, they are reinforcing themselves because

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we are creating self fulfilling prophecies with them. As with

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I'm not good enough, if you do feel you're not good enough,

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let's say, for example, to have a relationship, well, chances

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are that you're not really the best self at your first date. Or

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that when you are in a relationship, that you somehow

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is sabotaging it, so that in the end, the relationship gonna end

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because you told yourself, well see, it's happening, what I

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already predicted would happen, I am not good enough. And you're

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not seeing that maybe you were just too needy or too closed

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off. Or maybe you were not really fully invested. Because

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you were thinking that this relationship doesn't work out

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based on your belief. So limiting beliefs have a lot of

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power than also just to keep themselves going. So if you

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would just erase the past, the beliefs will still run your

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life. If that's not enough, what about letting go the beliefs,

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again, possible subconscious work is very much something you

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can do. However, if you would wake up one morning, and you

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would have all those limiting beliefs gone, no more, I'm not

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lovable, I don't fit in, I don't measure up, while your

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subconscious would have a crisis of identity because there would

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be a huge void, there would be a huge sense of well, now what,

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and lo and behold your subconscious, because it doesn't

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like the unknown, the uncertainty, that's why your

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subconscious doesn't like change, your subconscious would

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go back to the old belief guy that's familiar, that's

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something it can relate to. Again, letting go of the

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limiting belief itself, is not enough either. So then the third

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option would be actually to replace the limiting belief. And

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that is exactly what you need to do in order to create a new

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Owner's Manual of how you want to manifest how you want to

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maneuver and navigate through life, and ultimately manifest

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your reality. Now, there are five steps, and I just going to

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quickly explain those five steps to you because I find they're so

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important to have in your toolbox. The first step is that

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you define a new belief, I believe that you really feel

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like okay, this is what I want to replace the old one with.

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Now, that new belief needs to be really, really relatable and

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believable. So for example, if you would be, you know,

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completely broke, and you would want to have a new belief that

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says I'm a millionaire. Well, your mind would say, yes, you

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are off the rocker, I don't believe a word and it would

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still hold on to the old belief. But if you would say, I can get

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out of debt, I have the inner resources to be more successful

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or to be a good money manager, then your mind your subconscious

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would say, okay, we can work with that.

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I am not good enough. Well, maybe I am enough, isn't enough,

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because it's not juicy enough. But if you would say, I believe

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in my gifts and qualities to create the life that I want, or

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for I am not lovable. You could say I appreciate and accept

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myself for who I am. And new belief is really useful when

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it's coming from an i statement I have or I am and it's defining

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how you want to relate to yourself. So an old belief of, I

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am not safe, you could turn into I am the source of my safety and

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well being. So find your own words for a new belief, not too

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long, fairly short, but again, it needs to be interesting and

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believable. And you can look up at affirmations that are really

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ultimately new positive belief systems that may resonate with

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you. But as you will see in a moment, affirmations are not in

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itself enough to reach the subconscious. Second step is

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that You want to enliven this new belief. Remember, the old

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belief, the limiting belief is pretty much telling you this

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story of the distorted version of reality, and it has plenty of

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ideas why you're not good enough or not safe or not lovable, or

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any of those things. So you need to now juice up this new belief

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with also evidence that says, oh, yeah, actually, now that I

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look at it, I am good enough. Because I, let's say, I had

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completed my driver's license, I did finish high school, I am

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holding a job since a while and I actually have done really good

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work, or I have been taking care of my ailing mother, and was

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really very reliable and loyal there. And you don't have to

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really, you know, invent the cure for cancer or find world

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peace. It's just something that you can see, every day that

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there is so much goodness, and there is so much pot, there are

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so many positive qualities about you, that it should be easy for

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you to realize I am actually good enough. I just never really

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honored myself for this or saw myself as good enough, because

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somehow, I always got distracted by this old belief. Same thing

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with being lovable. I mean, you can even ask your friends, what

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do you like about me? What do you think are qualities that are

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really good about me. And that will also tell you then yeah,

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you know what I can actually accept and appreciate myself. So

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find evidence go through, you know, your life, your current

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life, not only what you do, or what you did, but also who you

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are compassionate, kind, courageous, resilient, all of

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those qualities that can really give you a much better sense of

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self. And then, the third step is that you are translating

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these, this new belief with all its qualities, into the language

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of the subconscious. And the language of the subconscious is

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very simple. It's word I mean, it's not words. That's the

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conscious, it's images. It's emotion sensations. And, you

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know, in general, anything that feels like an experience. So

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when you think about the, the subconscious language, and you

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would have just an affirmation, now, something that would sound

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really nice, but you don't feel anything about it, you cannot

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visualize what that would look like, you don't have a sense of

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what feel in your body. Your subconscious says, Well, this is

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gibberish. To me, I

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don't know what you're talking about. But I'm certainly not

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taking this on. So that's why you want to translate this new

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belief into something that subconscious can understand. So

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think about it. If your new belief is I accept and

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appreciate myself, think about when there was maybe a moment

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where you felt acceptance or appreciation, maybe, you know,

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there was something where you did really well. Or maybe even

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someone gave you a pat on the back, that's totally fine. As

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long as you felt good about yourself. And when you feel this

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feeling, imagine then if you could really be this person,

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what would you see? Or what would you hear? And what would

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you taste? And how would your body posture be? So these are

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all translations into the language of the subconscious.

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And once you really see yourself and feel yourself in the new

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belief, it may take a few minutes to get there, then put

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the old belief next to you and really see then the difference

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between the two. What is the old? What is in you? And that's

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step number four, you are really imagining now, okay, so if I

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have the old belief, I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable.

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I'm not safe. And I imagine myself going through another

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year, another five years in the future with this belief? How

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does my life look like? What will happen and what will not

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happen? Maybe I will never find really happiness. Maybe I will

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never be in a happy relationship or have a family. Maybe I will

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always struggle and always look over my shoulder and always

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isolate myself or always do what others want me to do, and never

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find my own voice. And then look at the other side, that new

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belief and imagine how your life would evolve. If you in that new

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belief will live another year of five years and what would

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change? Well, maybe you would see yourself advancing in a new

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country. rear, maybe you have that real loving relationship

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that you've been looking for. Or maybe you are moving actually

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away from the town you are and going somewhere else, fantasize,

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dream it up. But make it realistic. I mean, don't come up

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with you know, I gonna be an astronaut and live in a space

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station that's not totally realistic. So get into a

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framework that you can believe in that that is exciting and

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motivating. So your subconscious now has two versions of your

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life. And it has clear evidence from what you're showing your

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subconscious, you're holding up to maps. And you say, well, this

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map gets us to this place doesn't feel very good. And this

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new map, a new belief gets us to another place. And that feels

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actually really much more enticing and interesting, and it

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still feels safe, because that is important for the

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subconscious, that it's not something dangerous or reckless,

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that potentially could really get you in trouble. So then you

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have for your subconscious basically laid out what your

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preference is. And there is a little trick you can do, which

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is changing your inner representation, your internal

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representation, which basically means that you are really

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showing your subconscious from now on, we are going into this

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new pattern. And so you are making this old belief self,

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maybe you have seen that self you know already a little bit

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hunched forward frown in the face, or, you know, just a

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little bit smaller, because it feels smaller, you make that old

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self small, small, small, small, dark, and far away from you.

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Maybe even behind you as a symbol of,

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it's in the past, it's not something I really want to hold

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on to. And then you bring the new self, that person that you

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want to be in front of you make that person bigger, brighter,

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and really feel also that positive energy, almost like a

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warmth or light coming from that knew you and feel that is the

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person that I want to grow into. And that's what I will focus on

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to become. So that is step number four. And in that step,

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finish it by visualizing already how your day today or tomorrow

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will be different. Think about situations that have triggered

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you in the past, let's say someone was maybe a little bit,

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uh, you know, critical to you or making a little joke about you?

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How would you respond from that new belief place? Would you just

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have a boundary and say, sorry, I don't find this funny? Would

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you laugh with it? Because you could actually have a sense of

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humor about yourself? How would you respond? What would be the

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most resourceful way of living this new belief? And how would

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you show that let's say you accept and appreciate yourself?

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Would you just treat yourself again to bad foods and something

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you know, that upsets your stomach at the end of the day,

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so that you need to take some anti acid? Or would you actually

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say no self appreciation,

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actually also means I'm eating? Well, I'm asking my body what it

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wants, and I'm going to make sure that I feel good throughout

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the day. Or maybe this feeling of really believing in yourself

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or believing in your resources and your strength and qualities,

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can also mean that you will speak up a little bit more, and

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you will show more, that you actually are capable and work or

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you are reaching out to people that in the past, you felt a

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little hesitant to reach out to because you always felt

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intimidated. Whatever it is, look for moments throughout the

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day that you can imagine will be different, and you will feel

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different when you come from that new belief system. And the

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fifth point, or the fifth step is then really living it

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following through the and this is the problem with

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affirmations. And most of our, you know, it tends to become

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better. And I often hear people saying, well, I'm meditating 30

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days, 30 minutes a day, and I'm saying all these affirmations.

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But when I asked him so what do you do with all of this? They

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say, Well, I'm pretty much living exactly how I used to

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live waiting for a miracle to happen that makes me feel

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different or that makes me act differently. But that's a

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choice. It's a choice to step into this This new belief, and

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actually pretend that you already have fully incorporated

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it. So throughout the day, have your body in that maybe

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confident or self appreciative posture, slight smile on your

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face, and walk, talk, and dress and act, the way you feel is an

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expression of this new belief. Show yourself and the world that

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you can inhabit a more positive and empowering belief. And it's

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not the belief that's going to change you, it's you to gather

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with the belief that will change your life. So act as if, and

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then during the day, just see that you have these moments of

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choice, like a choice point where you're reaching this,

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again, getting triggered, or this familiar habit to just go

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back to what feels much more, you know, the normal you and you

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can say, No, I'm not doing this, I will have a boundary when

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someone just, again pushes me to do something I don't want to do

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because I accept and appreciate myself. Or I will actually make

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sure that I Ghana, not procrastinate but follow through

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because I do believe in my strength and my inner qualities

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to reach my goals. So just notice when you can already

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through the day, make a difference, and do it. Because

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otherwise, all this inner work will just be nice, packed, you

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know, gift packages that have nothing in sight promises that

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somehow never come true. And when you do promise to yourself,

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and you are setting all these high intentions, and then you're

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not really acting as if you're not really having that self

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reliability. Well, your subconscious says, I don't trust

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you, because you have let yourself down. So many times,

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you have done the opposite of what you said you

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would do in the opposite, that actually is good for you. So

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I'll just going to go back and take leadership role. And if

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your subconscious takes over, chances are it will just go back

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to that what feels much more familiar and comfortable, which

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are these old patterns and old beliefs. So make sure that you

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are following through and then to put a little cherry on the

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cake. Right in your journal. This is a difference I made

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today. With my new belief, I gathered more evidence that the

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belief is true. And that the belief truly is changing my life

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that there is a difference. It may not be always like in earth

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shattering. But it will certainly just be palpable

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enough for you to get more and more motivated to live in this

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bigger framework to get out of this sticky comfort zone of the

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old belief and just widen yourself expand into your more

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empowered and more self reliance self. And then also notice that

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ultimately you realize one thing that you may have not really

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realized before, but I believe that's the secret to happiness,

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that you are the creator of your reality. You may have just

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created your reality with a very old playbook. And now you're

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choosing how you want to approach your reality. And that

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is the ultimate sense of feeling empowered, and feeling that you

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